Text Message 12985: Resolutions Gym
Guy opened a gym named “RESOLUTIONS.” It will have exercise equipments for the first two weeks and then turn into a bar for the rest of the year.
View ArticleText Message 12986: Boss to secretary
Boss to secretary.. Who told you that just bcoz i took you out to dinner & kissed you a few times, you could neglect your work here & loaf around all day long? My lawyer!
View ArticleText Message 12995: When we get married
Girlfriend: When we get married I want to share all your worries, problems and lighten your burden. Boyfriend: It’s very good darling, But I don’t have any worries or troubles. Girl: Well, that’s...
View ArticleText Message 12998: Diver sees a guy with no scuba gear
A diver is 50 feet below sea level sees a guy with no scuba gear. He goes down another 30 feet and the guy stays with him. He takes out a water-proof chalkboard and writes, “What are doing, buddy?” The...
View ArticleText Message 13001: Makes you
Pain makes you stronger.. Tears makes you braver.. Headaches makes you wiser.. And Vodka makes you not remember any of that crap. :)
View ArticleText Message 13002: Dear weather
Dear Weather: Please stop being so romantic.. We don’t have girlfriends, we have WIVES! Sincerely, HUSBANDS :D
View ArticleText Message 13007: Difference between disaster and catastrophe
What’s the difference between a DISASTER and a CATASTROPHE? A DISASTER is like a ship carrying 100 corrupt politicians that sinks… A CATASTROPHE is when you find out that they can all swim!!! Hehehe… ;)
View ArticleText Message 13008: Alcohol bottles
Alcohol bottles should have cute little fortunes in the bottom like “Nope, happiness wasn’t in this one. Please try again!” :)
View ArticleText Message 13009: That’s us in ten years
Sitting in a bar having drinks, a man pointed to a friend two old drunks sitting across the bar from them and said, “That’s us in ten years.” The friend replied, “That’s a mirror, buddy!”
View ArticleText Message 13014: The reason women love military men
The reason women love military men? It’s NOT the uniform! It is because they can cook, clean, iron, make beds and sew, but above all, they know how to follow orders! :*
View ArticleText Message 13015: Lots of Love LOL
A redneck thought “LOL” means “lots of love” so he texted the following message to his girlfriend: “You are the only girl in my life… LOL…!”
View ArticleText Message 13016: Lecture on alcohol abuse
An old man is stopped by the police at 2 a.m. and is asked where he is going at this time of the night. Old man replies, “I’m on my way to a lecture on alcohol abuse and its ill effects as well as...
View ArticleText Message 13020: The doctor wrote a prescription for a patient
The doctor wrote a prescription for a patient in his usual illegible writing. Everyday, the patient showed it at the railway counter for a free pass. Many times, it got him free movies passes and once...
View ArticleText Message 13023: Prominent lawyer at the Pearly Gate
A prominent young lawyer found himself at the Pearly Gate one morning. When he saw St. Peter he protested that at age 35 his untimely death must be a mistake. St. Peter agreed that 35 seem to be a bit...
View ArticleText Message 13029: A couple sees a hot girl
A couple sees a hot girl. Wife: So big aren’t they? Husband: Yes! Wife: Are they artificial? Husband: I think natural. Wife: Earrings and Natural? (Husband became silent.)
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